Chatty cactus’ deep reflections: Why am I “failing” in everything?

Confession time. I am that annoying person who loves to “talk the talk” but never puts in action what they say. After much reflection, I have realised that I am somebody who never manages to finish anything. I just lose interest.

At 16 years old, I started a study instagram account to which now looking back had a lot of potential to hugely succeed, had I put my mind to it. However, I soon accepted that I did not want to be known as “that study girl on Instagram”. Later, I decided to set up this blog and a youtube channel. I did not stick to consistently blogging, even though I had the desire to grow this into a large community. I started my youtube channel, which I was neither consistent and thus my growth now has been a lot slower than other people who started around the same time as me a year ago. I have had many business ideas to which I have never taken further than a mere business plan.

This is why I am failing at everything. Lack of discipline and consistency.

I am constantly looking around me for new opportunities instead of putting my head down and actually grinding in my interests and projects. I lack the hunger of others, who every morning rise early to make the most out of their day, compared to me who would rather sleep 4 more hours. I am too scared at failing things when I don’t see the immediate results, that I would rather give up and leave something behind.

I have been told too many times in my life “you have potential but…” and I really despise that sentence, because it’s confirming my laziness, my inability to settle down in a project.

I feel that this unleashed potential is the reason I often feel underwhelmed with my life. God I am grateful for everything I have, for university, student finance and the calm life I live. However, I could have accomplished more by now. Who knows where life would have lead me, had I fully carried out anything I set my eyes on.

If I want to see anything extraordinary ever occur in my life, some things about me are going to have to change now.

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