How to deal with loneliness.

It seems ironic that in such a connected, digital society more and more of us are feeling lonely. You would think with the endless opportunities to stay connected and stay updated with each other lives, that this would end loneliness once and for all. But this could not be more wrong. Now more than ever, we have become so concentrated on keeping in touch with people far away that we have forgotten about the people right next to us. We as a society worry more about staying updated in other people’s highlights on instagram that we forget to make our own with the people we apparently care most about. A recent article in the Economist called this “a serious public health problem”. So how can you combat this?

For as long as I can remember I’ve always felt this deep loneliness. Even in primary or secondary school where I had a decent group of friends, I felt as though I was all alone. And this feeling has only been growing more and more as I’ve gone into my late teens. After finishing my A-levels and starting university, I lost touch with quite a lot of my closest friends. I remember in freshers week crying my eyes out because I came to the conclusion I had no friends. People that I thought I could rely on for support were no longer there. It was only when I found my friendship group at the end of the first term of university that I felt content with my social life. However the reality is that most of my friends are spread across the country and globe. So this summer that familiar feeling of isolation has come back to haunt me. I cannot lie and say I don’t sometimes don’t feel this but I’ve found ways round it. Here’s some tips I thought I would share with you so next time you don’t feel all on your own.

-Use your loneliness to fuel a passion or new interest.

I started my instagram blog @thebeccanicoleblogs when I had just started my A-levels as a way of voicing my struggles and anxiety as a high performing student. Through this I was able to help others in the student online community and many reached out for advice, which helped me feel worthy.You can start a blog, a youtube channel or even an e-book as a way of communicating to others because I promise you, there are more people like you than you think.

-Become your own best friend

I know you might be thinking this sounds sad but its true, there is no one better to friend than yourself. I have come to enjoy my own company because it means if I want to go somewhere or eat something, I can. There have been days where I’ve gone exploring in central London by myself or evenings where I sit on the sofa laughing my head off at a Friend’s episode. This is self love. So give a try at going to an exhibition by yourself or going to dinner on your own because it won’t always be like that. One day you will find that special someone you really connect with.

-Reach out to old friends

Sometimes we don’t realise we shut ourselves out from our friends when we are so busy with our lives. Why not consider texting or ringing a friend you haven’t spoke to in a while. If they don’t seem interested in staying in touch then you can say you at least tried and move on. There is only a certain amount of times I will try to persistently stay in contact with someone until I conclude, if they don’t make the effort with me why should I with them?

I hope this post has helped you in any way and don’t forget to keep in touch with the people you most care about. Do share this with anyone you think this may help and if you wish to have a chat my DM’s are always open for support.

Sending you lots of love,

Becca x

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